My purpose of making a blog is really out of boredom. I am almost 5 months here in US and most of the time I am just alone in the house while husband is at work. I tried to do alot of things from cleaning the house ,draw my favorite cartoons to crosstitching but still I get bored. So here I am trying to make a post, not knowing really what to write. I admit I'm not good in writing but who knows maybe after several posts, my writing skills will improve. hehehhehee!!! That's something to look forward too. :D
So what would be my first topic???
Can't think of any...hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
*zilanna spent some time typing, retyping, backspace.....backspace....delete... delete!!!*
After several times of attempting to make a good sentence and failed, I decided to share the journey of my love. ( :-) big smile )
I am sorrounded by a big family, a family name that I will say contributed a big part of the history of my hometown. I don't want to dig more about that though but in our family I am what my aunties called "babaera". Why? because I started having a relationship in high school and keep changing boyfriend before I met my husband and that for them is a big deal. I don't really care about what they think coz that's their own opinion and they are judging me for what they see. Only I know the real me. They didn't understand the reason why I keep jumping from one relationship to another.
I'll tell you why.......It simply because I am looking for the right person..the person that can give the love that I've been longing since I was young. The love that even my parents can't give. The love that I truly deserve. You see, Most of my relationship lasted years and most of the time I always feel alone and betrayed. Maybe it was just how I feel or I was just so unlucky that everytime I find a boyfriend they are unfaithful. I even got into a relationship wherein we already into the proposal stage and planning to get married but then I discovered his dark secrets, like wominizing (he courted my cousin even we were already together), frequent lying (he tells stories to his family to cover his mistakes and what he said to me is different and etc.....), and alot more. Even so, I still tried patching up things with him coz I believe that there is really no perfect man in this world, so we scheduled a day to talk things over and maybe make a new start, but when that time came, he didn't show up. The only reason that he can come up with (to which for me is sooo unreasonable) was that his cousin from Butuan visited him in the house that's why he can't show up to settle things even for an hour(how lame is that?). Again I felt dumped and hurt. Clearly that guy is just playing around. So I decided to let go of something which shouldn't have started in the first place...picked the pieces that was broken and kept myself busy with work,.... and never stop praying. I confide everything to God and asked for peace of mind and heart....I also asked God to find a good guy the guy that who can give me the love that I was longing for.
2 Months after that, My aunt in New york noticed how miserable and depressed I was and encouraged me to make an account in eharmony to divert my mind from that worst experience. (Yes, I said "worst", that was the worst relationship that I had..should i say if there is a word that is worst than the word worst, that is how I describe the relationship :D ) She even willingly paid for my one month subscription coz that website is not free, and so I went online, made and account and send messages to my first 10 matches. First 2 weeks, I never paid much attention about it at first coz I was still in my emo stage. hehehehe. I chose to visit my friend in Cagayan than checking messages on that site. And so I toured cagayan with one of my college friends, spend most of our time talking each other secrets, strolling around the mall, and going to places we never went before , we even went to a palmist for fun. Oh yeah depression makes you do crazy things. :D
After a week, I went home and found a bunch of message from my first match. He introduced himself and asked more about me. We then exchange messages for a month and by that time when my one month subscription is closer to its expiration date we continued talking in yahoo messenger. After 2 months of plainly chatting and exchanging messages in email, we decided to go on skype so we can talk and see each other on video. Since then we became good friends.I found out he is very nice person inside and out. That was when I realized I already am excited to go home everyday so I can see him and tell stories on how my day went. After months of chatting, I find myself smiling again. I never thought I would still feel happy again. The zahir of my past was forgotten. Eventhough I am not expecting much about web chatting but something tells me that I have to trust this man. I then introduced him to my family and friends while chatting on cam to gain impressions on what they think about this man. They find him nice and funny. We went from months to a year of chatting until he said he wanted to visit me. I was really shocked and I was like huh? am i dreaming??? I didnt want to believe him at first but when he showed his ticket, I was really excited. I have never experienced such excitement in my entire life.
After months of anxiously waiting, He came. More so, he came with a ring. I was overjoyed. I couldn't believe it. I still can remember the time when I first saw his face in the airport and when he hugged me tightly for the first time, so tight that I can hear my heart pounding so hard.
He stayed for a week and I introduced him to the whole family and friends. We then went to Davao so I can introduce him to my Dad. One morning, around the table while we are having our breakfast, he took my hand and asked my dad for marriage. I felt the tears falling from my eyes.That was the best feeling ever. :D We enjoyed our time together.We have many things in common, that's why we get along so well. He then went back home and he promised to come back. Saying goodbye was hard to do but then again I never lose faith. We planned for the wedding, we want to do it in my hometown but then we agreed that doing so will take time. He can no longer stand to be away from me anymore and so do I. We miss each other everyday. It seems that talking on skype is not enough, it won't ease the emptiness that we feel, the feeling that I never felt before. :D That's when I realized he is the man that I've been asking for.
He then decided to get a visa for me, so instead of marrying in my hometown we will do it in his city.
Now, I'm here , 3 months married. I never regret to what I let go in the past because it made me stronger and made me for who I am today and brought me to the wonderful man that God made for me. I now believe to what they say that there is really a person who is meant for you, all you need to do is wait for the right time and he will come...just keep the faith.
My husband makes me happy, he makes me complete. He loves me unconditionally..... AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY MATTERS , THAT'S WHY I LOVE HIM SO. I genuinely asked God for signs, and everything happened the way I want it to be. I prayed to find a good guy but God gave me the best!
P.S. Going through the process of visa and my journey here is another long story. It'll be in another post. :D
So what would be my first topic???
Can't think of any...hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
*zilanna spent some time typing, retyping, backspace.....backspace....delete... delete!!!*
After several times of attempting to make a good sentence and failed, I decided to share the journey of my love. ( :-) big smile )
I am sorrounded by a big family, a family name that I will say contributed a big part of the history of my hometown. I don't want to dig more about that though but in our family I am what my aunties called "babaera". Why? because I started having a relationship in high school and keep changing boyfriend before I met my husband and that for them is a big deal. I don't really care about what they think coz that's their own opinion and they are judging me for what they see. Only I know the real me. They didn't understand the reason why I keep jumping from one relationship to another.
I'll tell you why.......It simply because I am looking for the right person..the person that can give the love that I've been longing since I was young. The love that even my parents can't give. The love that I truly deserve. You see, Most of my relationship lasted years and most of the time I always feel alone and betrayed. Maybe it was just how I feel or I was just so unlucky that everytime I find a boyfriend they are unfaithful. I even got into a relationship wherein we already into the proposal stage and planning to get married but then I discovered his dark secrets, like wominizing (he courted my cousin even we were already together), frequent lying (he tells stories to his family to cover his mistakes and what he said to me is different and etc.....), and alot more. Even so, I still tried patching up things with him coz I believe that there is really no perfect man in this world, so we scheduled a day to talk things over and maybe make a new start, but when that time came, he didn't show up. The only reason that he can come up with (to which for me is sooo unreasonable) was that his cousin from Butuan visited him in the house that's why he can't show up to settle things even for an hour(how lame is that?). Again I felt dumped and hurt. Clearly that guy is just playing around. So I decided to let go of something which shouldn't have started in the first place...picked the pieces that was broken and kept myself busy with work,.... and never stop praying. I confide everything to God and asked for peace of mind and heart....I also asked God to find a good guy the guy that who can give me the love that I was longing for.
2 Months after that, My aunt in New york noticed how miserable and depressed I was and encouraged me to make an account in eharmony to divert my mind from that worst experience. (Yes, I said "worst", that was the worst relationship that I had..should i say if there is a word that is worst than the word worst, that is how I describe the relationship :D ) She even willingly paid for my one month subscription coz that website is not free, and so I went online, made and account and send messages to my first 10 matches. First 2 weeks, I never paid much attention about it at first coz I was still in my emo stage. hehehehe. I chose to visit my friend in Cagayan than checking messages on that site. And so I toured cagayan with one of my college friends, spend most of our time talking each other secrets, strolling around the mall, and going to places we never went before , we even went to a palmist for fun. Oh yeah depression makes you do crazy things. :D
After a week, I went home and found a bunch of message from my first match. He introduced himself and asked more about me. We then exchange messages for a month and by that time when my one month subscription is closer to its expiration date we continued talking in yahoo messenger. After 2 months of plainly chatting and exchanging messages in email, we decided to go on skype so we can talk and see each other on video. Since then we became good friends.I found out he is very nice person inside and out. That was when I realized I already am excited to go home everyday so I can see him and tell stories on how my day went. After months of chatting, I find myself smiling again. I never thought I would still feel happy again. The zahir of my past was forgotten. Eventhough I am not expecting much about web chatting but something tells me that I have to trust this man. I then introduced him to my family and friends while chatting on cam to gain impressions on what they think about this man. They find him nice and funny. We went from months to a year of chatting until he said he wanted to visit me. I was really shocked and I was like huh? am i dreaming??? I didnt want to believe him at first but when he showed his ticket, I was really excited. I have never experienced such excitement in my entire life.
After months of anxiously waiting, He came. More so, he came with a ring. I was overjoyed. I couldn't believe it. I still can remember the time when I first saw his face in the airport and when he hugged me tightly for the first time, so tight that I can hear my heart pounding so hard.
He stayed for a week and I introduced him to the whole family and friends. We then went to Davao so I can introduce him to my Dad. One morning, around the table while we are having our breakfast, he took my hand and asked my dad for marriage. I felt the tears falling from my eyes.That was the best feeling ever. :D We enjoyed our time together.We have many things in common, that's why we get along so well. He then went back home and he promised to come back. Saying goodbye was hard to do but then again I never lose faith. We planned for the wedding, we want to do it in my hometown but then we agreed that doing so will take time. He can no longer stand to be away from me anymore and so do I. We miss each other everyday. It seems that talking on skype is not enough, it won't ease the emptiness that we feel, the feeling that I never felt before. :D That's when I realized he is the man that I've been asking for.
He then decided to get a visa for me, so instead of marrying in my hometown we will do it in his city.
Now, I'm here , 3 months married. I never regret to what I let go in the past because it made me stronger and made me for who I am today and brought me to the wonderful man that God made for me. I now believe to what they say that there is really a person who is meant for you, all you need to do is wait for the right time and he will come...just keep the faith.
My husband makes me happy, he makes me complete. He loves me unconditionally..... AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY MATTERS , THAT'S WHY I LOVE HIM SO. I genuinely asked God for signs, and everything happened the way I want it to be. I prayed to find a good guy but God gave me the best!
P.S. Going through the process of visa and my journey here is another long story. It'll be in another post. :D
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